The Onion Movie

“America's finest news source.”

Norm Archer (Len Cariou) is the veteran newscaster who anchors every minute of it, reading out a recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest." Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire fill the space between his broadcasts with fake celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits. Through all of it Norm keeps reading, never once reacting to what lands on his desk.